Dam it!

I must be in the writing mood today. Two posts in one day!

I am sitting at a crossroads at this point in my professional life. I feel like everything is backed up, waiting for a dam to burst loose so I can find my way to smooth waters. There are a number of logs in the dam. Here are just a few:

My "boss" who has been a co-worker and friend for many years is moving on and I'm not sure I like what he's leaving behind for the rest of us. I have been more sensitive lately (allergies=medication=mood swings) and I am letting this get to me more than it should.

I like what I am doing now but I know it will change significantly next year. I can hold out for one year and hope I get a position at (another) new school but I can't guarantee I would get it. Things have changed quite a bit in this district over the past few years. No more guarantees about anything anymore!

I also have a dilemma about teaching summer school. I applied to two campuses and have been hired for both. Now, I have to decline one of the positions without burning my bridges for next summer. Boo-hoo, poor me with two jobs - I wished I could feel ashamed for the excess but a girl's got to do what she can in the world of poorly paid educators.

Maybe a new profession? I don't feel financially stable enough to make a choice that radical just now.

Maybe it's the spring weather that's got me so conflicted - oh, well, it's already heating up for the summer and I will be indoors where I can think about my life until I am nauseated!

Alone.

I took my dogs to the local dog park today as I do every Sunday but I think today was the last day for a while. I don't know if the allergies and subsequent medications brought my emotions to the surface or what, but I didn't feel welcome at all.

I don't expect the dogs or the humans to meet me at the gate with open arms, smiles, hugs and wagging tails but I felt ostracized. Bailey got a little rough with a puppy (St. Bernard that is already bigger than he is) and I put him on the leash, as I do any time he gets a little rough. I felt an invisible door slam shut and everyone turn away to shun us. I went over and stood in the shade then to a bench with just a little shade left then finally, I tracked down Duffy and we all left. I don't think we had been there 45 minutes but I like to stay 1 - 1 1/2 hours when we go. It's such a far drive so I want us to stay long enough to make it worth our while.

After today, I don't think it's worth our while for a while. Sad - we really enjoyed the park but not if we are going to be shunned when we visit. Too bad - my boys are really going to miss it.

Spring has sprung!

The weather is looking better and I feel a bout of spring fever coming on. I finished two big projects and have a whole week's vacation to look forward to.

A new experience for me this week - my younger dog is sick with either allergies or a respiratory infection. After a visit to the vet to get loaded up on antibiotics and allergy medication, I am watching him closely. I've never heard of a dog having a respiratory infection unless it was kennel cough which is grouped with parvo and mange in my book.