Just don't know what to do with myself

I haven't posted in a while due to summer schedule and - who am I kidding? - because I'm writing for me and I haven't felt like talking to myself in a while.

My job situation has thrown me for a loop. Four of my very dear friends left to work together somewhere else and three others quit in the last two weeks. I feel lost and abandoned. Sounds silly but when most of your life revolves around work and you don't see those familiar faces anymore, it really affects the whole atmosphere (and attitude) at work.

Speaking of... we were instructed on how to be empathetic recently. I was telling a friend about it later and she thought it sounded so silly (as did I). "You are either empathetic or you aren't by now!" I concur!

Duffy's got allergies in his eyes - or so thinks the vet. Both eyelids are covered with bumps and his eyes are matted closed in the morning when he comes out of his crate. Poor baby!

I went to my first crop Saturday night. I was intimidated by everyone there but especially by this one young woman who has been cropping three months and was creating the most adorable pregnancy books for her friends (11 in her group are pregnant, OMG!) made from small brown paper bags folded over and loaded with cute papers, tags and embellishments. I look forward to going back, though, because they are such nice ladies!

Plug time: http://www.thecraftyscrapper.com/

Dam it!

I must be in the writing mood today. Two posts in one day!

I am sitting at a crossroads at this point in my professional life. I feel like everything is backed up, waiting for a dam to burst loose so I can find my way to smooth waters. There are a number of logs in the dam. Here are just a few:

My "boss" who has been a co-worker and friend for many years is moving on and I'm not sure I like what he's leaving behind for the rest of us. I have been more sensitive lately (allergies=medication=mood swings) and I am letting this get to me more than it should.

I like what I am doing now but I know it will change significantly next year. I can hold out for one year and hope I get a position at (another) new school but I can't guarantee I would get it. Things have changed quite a bit in this district over the past few years. No more guarantees about anything anymore!

I also have a dilemma about teaching summer school. I applied to two campuses and have been hired for both. Now, I have to decline one of the positions without burning my bridges for next summer. Boo-hoo, poor me with two jobs - I wished I could feel ashamed for the excess but a girl's got to do what she can in the world of poorly paid educators.

Maybe a new profession? I don't feel financially stable enough to make a choice that radical just now.

Maybe it's the spring weather that's got me so conflicted - oh, well, it's already heating up for the summer and I will be indoors where I can think about my life until I am nauseated!

Alone.

I took my dogs to the local dog park today as I do every Sunday but I think today was the last day for a while. I don't know if the allergies and subsequent medications brought my emotions to the surface or what, but I didn't feel welcome at all.

I don't expect the dogs or the humans to meet me at the gate with open arms, smiles, hugs and wagging tails but I felt ostracized. Bailey got a little rough with a puppy (St. Bernard that is already bigger than he is) and I put him on the leash, as I do any time he gets a little rough. I felt an invisible door slam shut and everyone turn away to shun us. I went over and stood in the shade then to a bench with just a little shade left then finally, I tracked down Duffy and we all left. I don't think we had been there 45 minutes but I like to stay 1 - 1 1/2 hours when we go. It's such a far drive so I want us to stay long enough to make it worth our while.

After today, I don't think it's worth our while for a while. Sad - we really enjoyed the park but not if we are going to be shunned when we visit. Too bad - my boys are really going to miss it.

I'm in Love!

I have rediscovered a love that had been lost for a while. I have rediscovered my love of books! I recently attended the Texas Library Association annual conference and, while surrounded by books, authors and all things library, I was overcome by my love of reading and books.
I just finished an advanced readers' copy of The Titan's Curse by Rick Riordan and loved it.

I am ready to begin The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick, whom I met and dined with in San Antonio during TLA. I am also ready to begin Maude March on the Run! by Audrey Couloumbis after finishing the wonderfully raucous The Misadventures of Maude March by the same author. I await with eager anticipation the release of Gregor and the Code of the Claw by Suzanne Collins.

Ah, spring and a (relatively) young woman's thoughts turn to love - and books!!

Don't even get me started about the last Harry Potter. I haven't read The End, the last of the A Series of Unfortunate Events series by Lemony Snicket because I have such a hard time with endings and goodbyes. I still haven't seen the last two-three episodes of Arrested Development or the tape I have of Princess Diana's funeral. When it's over, it's over and I can't stand it.

Spring has sprung!

The weather is looking better and I feel a bout of spring fever coming on. I finished two big projects and have a whole week's vacation to look forward to.

A new experience for me this week - my younger dog is sick with either allergies or a respiratory infection. After a visit to the vet to get loaded up on antibiotics and allergy medication, I am watching him closely. I've never heard of a dog having a respiratory infection unless it was kennel cough which is grouped with parvo and mange in my book.

Big mouth

Have you ever innocently spoken your mind just to find out someone listening blabbed it to someone else? Someone up the chain of command at your job?

One word: traitor!

I thought of many things I wanted to say to this person but have decided not to do anything. Exactly that: not do anything. That person will no longer be included in any email messages I send and I am not sure I will be able to say more than a curt "Hello" when we actually see each other. Luckily, I don't see this person very often.

I have actually been burned at work a couple of times so I should learn to keep my opinion to myself...or start a blog!

Ties and Tails

My Boys!

Here they are - the loves of my life. Duffy on the left and Bailey on the right. I have way too many pictures of my boys - enough to fill two calendars and counting.

I'm still trying to decide what I will write about on this blog. The thought of sharing my thoughts online overwhelms me and makes me feel a little pretentious, to tell the truth.

I named it "What Was I Thinking?" because I ask myself this at least once a day.

I feel I need to dip my toes in the technological waters in which my students are so comfortable swimming. I'm sure many mistakes will be made but I look forward to learning all about blogging.


TC